What a way to start the day, by getting pulled over by a bunch of cops.
The morning didnt go too well in the first place i guess. Liverpool lost, 0-1 to Benfica. That should have been a sign that i was going to have a sorta fucked up morning.
A friend called me on the way to work, and she actually wanted to call me back because i was driving and handsfree-less. But being ever the rebel that i am, i told her not to worry. There isnt a cop in sight.
A couple more meters ahead, i took a left corner that cut into Puchong Highway and the feeling of dread and almighty 'oh-crap'-ness swept over me. Like The Flash, i put my handphone down in a Flash. That means i put my handphone down very quickly. Still, those bastards those bastards must have planted a spy way before the turning. They locked on to my car with their greedy gaze and signalled at me almost franticly to pull over.
In a moment of pure genius, i thought to myself, "Just continue driving". And so i did. As i bypassed them in my savvy Ferrari, i caught a glimpse in the rear view mirror, of them 'coppers' eating my dust and soluting my rebellious nature and refusal to conform to authority.
I stopped politely like the obedient citizen that i am, and waited for the policeman to walk up to the car. The usual shit happened next, the handing of drivers license, the small talk that he was gonna give me a summons for driving and using a handphone without a handsfree kit bla bla bla. I just said OK.
Then, he kinda said something, that could be implied as meaning that the whole "saman" could be settled on the spot. Yes folks, he was looking for a bribe. So, like all obliging citizens, i took out my wallet. In a somewhat apologetic tone, i told him i only had RM20 with me.
The cop didnt flinch. He continued to write stuff down, ask me where i was working and staying on.
Then he asks me again, "Jadi sekarang, you faham you akan di saman?"
I said, "Ya encik"
Then i thought for a moment. Just fucking take the saman and be done with is. I knew rm20 is MORE than enough to get about of a rm200 fine. Heck, i managed to get out of the same situation in the same location , somewhere last year, with just RM5! But no, the righteous moralistic side of me decided to make an appearance and persuaded me to be a "goodie two shoes" ...
"If you want to stop corruption, start with yourself!"
"Tis the right thing to do, young master sir!"
"Is your soul worth rm200?"
Thats all i heard in that brief few seconds. All the cop heard was silence. No pleas. No begging. Just a look of acceptance on my face.
Superman would be proud.
The cop tried hinting a few more time, "Tadi itu RM20, you nak belanja saya minum ke?" I said no, "Tak de lah bang". He explained again to me how he was going to actually give me a fine. But i said,"Ya encik, saya faham. Tapi saya mengakui kesalahan dan kesilapan saya. Kalau encik nak bagi saya saman, saya tak boleh buat apa apa"
He didnt flinch. Continued writing stuff down. But it was different now. He wasnt the confident cocky youre-gonna-give-me-my-nasi lemak money feel about him. I just had a strong gut feeling that he was going to let me pass! And he did. He just started to walk away and said OK.
I was stunned, but not suprised. I actually managed to save rm20 and/or get a fine! What a wonderful feeling! As he walked away, i managed to mutter out, "Encik memang baik lah". He just looked back at me all cool like , "Kalau mau belanja minum pun boleh". Then i think he just gave up and continued walking back. I think i told him that just to re-inforce any preconceptions he had about me being a goodie two shoes.
So, its proven then. These guys are just looking for a quick buck. Nothing new there i guess. It would be great if i managed to get this all on tape or something. Then again, i guess he might be thinking whats the point of giving a fine to a nice guy like me, a nice guy that isnt trying to butter his ass into accepting a bribe. Its all about psychology i tell you. I wonder who else this has happened to.
So boys and beasts, whats the moral of the story? That to get out of a fine, you just have to accept the fine? Reverse psychology? No, i doubt that'll work. Not all the time anyway. There really are a lot of legit roadblocks out there that will have no qualms in giving you the fine should you not give them a bribe.
No folks, i think the moral of the story is, there is usually a good outcome to your every mistake, so long as you take responsibility for it. It also teaches me not to brag about there being no cops around, until i can see at least 500 meters all around in all directions.
Life's a funny thing eh...in the way it teaches you these little things.
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