Footballing Lunacy: Its why we love this game so much

Chelsea defender commits career suicide!

What the flying chapati was he thinking when he opened his big arrogant mouth and question the decision of his manager. The silly twat in question is none other than Mr. Ricardo Carvalho. The arrogant twat...this is what he said after not being picked for Chelsea's first premiership game of the season:

"How can I explain when I don't understand it? Sincerely, I gave a lot of thought and time to myself but cannot find a valid explanation. It's totally incomprehensible. You need a brain to be able to comprehend stuff laddy.

'I don't understand why Mourinho said I have to wait for another opportunity to play this season. I don't understand the reason he put me in a group including Robert Huth, Joe Cole and Tiago. I dont understand why Mourinho doesnt just stuff a rubber duckie up your bum.

'Sincerely, I don't understand why he told me what he told me. I don't believe I'm going to be third choice. Sincerely i dont understand it either. Maybe Mourinho likes the squeaky rubber duckie sounds that your bum makes when you sit on the bench.

'The Premiership has begun and I will play many games, I have no doubt. It's incomprehensible that I will become third choice. Its incomprehensible how you've managed to say so many silly things in one conversation to the press. You should be the next President of the United States."

Mr. Carvalho, clouded your future is. Stupidity becomes you.

The English and their infamous short-sightedness.

I've lost count on the number of times that things dont go well for the English national team, and some twat has the twattyness to call for the English national coach to be swatted aka sacked. Take for instance the recent friendly between Denmark vs England. Sure England got thrashed 4-1. So what. Its a freaking friendly for goodness sakes. This time, the twat in question is a former Southampton player namedMick Channon (huh? Mike who???) who said:

"The way England played we ought to sack that manager and send him back to Sweden,' he told Radio Five Live.

'Poor Alf Ramsey will be turning in his grave. There was never such a thing as a friendly (in his day).

'I am so upset about it because that was a scandalous performance by the players and the manager."

Oh have a Kit Kat for goodness sake. Its a fucking friendly mate. Let us examine the facts of Mr.Eriksson.

1. Its a fucking friendly. Not the World Cup Final.
2. Sven's England team never play well in friendlies. Were you expecting England to suddenly play samba soccer in their friendlies against a strong Danish side.
3. Its a fucking friendly. Not the European Cup Final.
4. Sven's England team ALWAYS play well when it comes to the actual tournaments. So judge him on that you silly twat.