Life, the serious stage begins...

Gonna be 26 next month. Sorta depressing, but acceptable. Depressing because i'm never gonna get back the previous 25 years. Thats life i guess. Only 1 chance to live and learn. No point dwelling on the past. Time to make the next 25 years more glorious than the last. Hmm, i remember saying that last year, when i was 25.

I realise im at that stage in life, where the people in my life are either getting married or dying. I hate the dying part. I know its selfish, but i hope i die before any of my friends do. I hope i die before my wife, who ever that blessed creature is. I wouldnt wanna live out the remainders of my life alone. Its scary to think, "What if im 90 years old, on the brink of life, can't do shit for myself, and i've got no one for company other than silence and the Angel of Death" .I constantly have these selfish thoughts, but i know i wouldnt want anyone to ever have to go through that.

Worse, what if im 90 years old and regret whatever i've done and the years i've had on this Earth. No regrets, Nimal. Its the shittiest feeling in the world. Its shittier if its the last feeling you ever feel on this earth.


Pain, Love and Family


My uncle recently got admitted to hospital. My mum's younger brother. He's developed heart problems. Now you know why im having these morbid thoughts all of a sudden. I love the man, but we've had our fair share of disagreements, but never face to face. Things were so much better when i was a kid, when me and my cousins were kids. We didnt have to deal with family issues. We just got pampered and loved. I'd rather go back to being an ignorant kid. It was more fun, and less taxing on the soul.

I just heard from my cousin that the doctors got everything under control, and he should be discharged even as early as tomorrow. Thank God. Thank you.