To Err is Human, to Forgive is Divine

Aloha readers, im going to do something which i havent done in a while. I'm actually going to NOT talk crap and post crappy pictures of KLCC. Actually, thought i'd share my recent experience with this whole issue of forgiving and forgetting.

Being a christian, i've heard this term just about 3 trillion times. I've heard it so many times that the entire meaning of it became lost on me until a couple years back, when i actually decided to use my god given brain, just a little bit.

My mum had always lived by this rule, forgive and forget. There were times i got so infuriated with her because of the things that people do to her and as well to our family. If would have never acted as gracious as her if i were in her position. This is not saying that my mom is Mother Theresa. On the contrary, me and my brother we're on the receiving end of more than a few traditional Indian style disciplining sessions. Looking back on that, we probably deserved it being the brats that we were..... more proof that whacking your kids does them some good. Haha!

Anyways, i realise that my mum's behaviour was the best thing that she could have done. I admire her for that, because it takes a strong person to forgive. Gandhi once said "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."

Most people would have acted the complete opposite in her situation. Most people would take the self-righteous path when they are wronged. But as i have come to realise, that path simply leads to more conflict and pain. Think about it, if disagreeing parties constantly travel the self-righteous path, and there is no forgiveness, there will never be any resolution. Hate the sin, love the sinner. Gandhi said that too. One side will have to make a conscious effort to forgive, to forget. Some people call this making a compromise. And this is what my mum did.

As a result, the family as a whole (im referring to grandma's, aunties, cousins etc) still managed to get along, and feuds were few and far between. As a result, we still knew that we could depend on them if we ever needed them. As a result, the years that me and my brother were growing up was relatively peaceful. It could have been far worse if my mum had chosen a different path.

After my mum's passing, my brother, dad and i had a terrible disagreement with our other family members. There was a point in time when i considered us being better off without them. It was a very shocking and emotional experience for me and my brother. Thankfully, God was watching over us, by placing good people around us like a few of my cousins and friends. But for a few months, both parties never spoke.

To be honest, both sides took the self righteous path. If we had continued to do so, things would never had been resolved. It would have simply dragged on for months, maybe years with simply more pain and suffering being inflicted on both sides.

But the amazing thing is, that the moment one side forgived, and forgotten, and just moved on with things...the whole fiasco began to dissappear. Suddenly, both sides were forgiving and forgetting at an exponential rates. It was a though a tiny pin had poked a huge brick wall and crumbled it down to a million pieces. It was good to see. It was great to experience. I thank God for it. And i thank my mum for showing us the power of forgiveness.